Today I tried to write lyrics for my non exsistant band. Money's been a little bit tight so I have to wait until August until I can get a guitar only then can I even think about even getting lessons
So I was sitting there, with my pen and my little note book writing words, scribbling, rephrasing them only to rip out the whole page and throw it away then realising that I could have kept them for future reference.
The thing is that I'm naturally a poetic person (at least I like to think so) but the problem is I have difficulty fitting them into songs which would be much easier if I had a guitar (and knew how to play it) so I can find a way to get it to fall into place. I finally wrote one song that sounds far better than it looks and I'm happy with it.
I want more than anything to finally form my own band and hopefully get a bit of recognition. Its going to be hard and starting in September I'm going to set it up from scratch. I'm going to have to find a new bassist, drummer and lead guitarist. LuCkY mE
But I've started on lyrics already so once I get my members I'm all set.
Me and my "step mum" had yet another arguement this time about the way I dress not that its any of her business. So what if I wear studs and maybe a couple of spikes. I like eyeliner and hoodies and I listen to punk/grunge/rockability etc what does it matter? And what made it bad is that everyone in my family took her side. Does it really matter what music I'm into?
The music I listen to and the clothes I wear, and my attitude to things as dark as death and as light as life define who I am and for them to insult it felt like they were taking a stab at the very person that I am. I ended up storming up to my room and went straight to bed and I didn't cry or cut because I realised just because they don't like who I am doesn't spell out the end of the world, its not going to cause me no physical pain (self inflicted or otherwise) anymore and it certainly isn't going to change who I am.
Because I believe in me regardless of what others may think and I've realised how emotionally weak I have been. It's about time I changed for the better because I don't like the person I was. This is my last post in this (rather deep and difficult) blog and I look forward to starting a new one. goodbye "The Life Of Me" and hello to
"Lets get these teen hearts beating faster, faster" Title Taken from Panic! at the disco, Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Bye Guys. See you in my new blog (hopefully)
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