Have you ever met someone who makes you feel so silly. You watch guys who flirt with girls (I watch everything, very observant) and watch the girls swoon. I think how could they fall for that?
But he made me look at the world in such a different way. I thought I was misunderstood, because of the way I dress, the way I look and the way I act but he has it worse. He's popular and he's living a lie. He has to pretend every day to be something that he is not. He (maybe not directly) told me that the way it works is these girls want to be convinced that they are beautiful and these guys just wanna get the girls (Im not a boy basher and Im just being honest. Youre not all like that *fingers crossed* 
).
When we first came to the school he wasnt popular but he became popular and with that lost touch with his true self.
I know all we do is talk and I know we probably definatly wouldn't get beyond that and I'm okay with it. I used to hate people like him "Is it that difficult to be yourself?" But now I envy and pity him all at the same time. He gets to have a lot of friends aquaintances, and he gets to listen to kick ass music (Seether anyone???) but at the same time it all comes at a price. Living wearing a constant mask.
And when I think of that, I wish him away, not the real him because the real him is the sex (maybe not that cool). I wish the mask away.
I spent a whole blog talking about this boy? What is wrong with me.
No I dont love like him, like him. He is a womaniser. (well girl-aliser coz he's only dated one older girl, 4 years older).
I guess he amazes me, He intrigues me, fascinates me and dare I say it scares me.
Mabye I do love him. It hurts when I see him with other girls, when I hear through the grape vine that him and this, that or other girl went this far etc.
But then again I have this gut feeling that I don't Love him. I thought when you love someone you just know you know? But why then am I so confused? Why then does it make me laugh when I hear a nasty rumour about him (the price of popularity)I cant supress a giggle?
Is it a platonic love? Do I love him but Im not in love with him?
And most importantly...
...THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Can you cry underwater?
