Well now my whole family knows and they all reacted badly (calling me crazy, saying they dont get the need for control, saying I need mental help etc) but I'll live. I've learnt to become apathetic, to cut out all feeling. Tears dont fall (BFMV lol), smiles arent real and my face is void of all emotion. But its the only thing I can do now, the only way I can trick my mind into believing that I'm okay.
It's funny what I realised. I realised that people my age well girls my age are only after cute boys just to say "Oh I have a boyfriend. And he's hot!" but I never felt that. I may be young but I want someone who cares for me, Maybe its because Ive always felt so empty, unloved and unhappy but...yeah I've never been a fan of superficial & shallow relationships or superficial and shallow anything.
While were on the topic I had a...wait for it...moment! You know the ones that happen in adverts and the thing that James Blunt talks about in you're beautiful. When one person catches your eye and you end up wishing you could spend more than the moment. It was at my college interview and he was in the corridor of the building, what if I see him again? I will... I dunno but it would be cool. I saw him again on my way out and he said I had nice hair. I couldn't stop smiling...even when I got home. 
NO LONGER AM I HAVING THOGHTS FOR THE DAY BUT...
Something Silly:
Two wrongs dont make a right... but three rights make a left
