Wow. It's been AGES since I last blogged. I know hardly anyone will read it and I guess I don't really care, I'm doing this for me anyway.
Anyone who has commented on my blog thank you, you indirectly helped me through the trickiest part of my life.
Things are getting better everyday. I go to a group therapy session once a week and it really helps to talk to other people in the same boat.
I've only known my best friend since July and I feel like I can tell her anything. I finally have someone to go to. I'm there for her if she needs me and she's there for me, knows when to talk and when to shut up and listen.
I've finally stopped cutting now I have someone to talk to who was in a similar position and wont judge or dictate. I know it isn't going to be easy and there are times when I am tempted but I've realised that the things that upset me enough to make me want to hurt myself are usually temporary. 5 days down the line they aren't going to matter. And hours after arguments will be resolved, my dad isn't setting out to hurt me, and we can reconcile if I try.
I don't know how long we have left, but I have to cherish every moment. I've got to live in the moment, for his sake.
I've thrown myself into music, writing songs has been a slow process because they felt to personal, maybe one day I'll let someone hear them. I do let people hear the songs that I write from different perspectives because then they aren't about me. I've discovered that I'm good at putting myself in other people's shoes now, and I realise how hard life is for other people other than me.
What else?
Oh, I'm 16 and single and proud. Most of the girls my age are all BOYS = LIFE! I feel sorry for them but, theres nothing I can do.
I'm going to an album launch party tomorrow, my first one, it should be a laugh. Theres a guy from a band who I like who may be going too so wish me luck...
good luck!
Thank you. 
If we talk or something, GREAT, but if we don't that's okay too. I have all I need in the world.
OH and because you read to the end, you can read a lyric I wrote from a SceneWhore (groupie) perspective (it's just what I think is going through their minds - I may be wrong but, oh well) :
I don't love you, I'm sure this feeling's lust,
I don't long for your heart, I just long for your touch,
your hands on my thighs, my legs either side,
this is as good as we get,
but my game isnt over yet,
my hands on your hips & your kiss on my lips,
we're all fame anorexics and were starving for attention,
a grinding of hips, a clashing of lips,
we're starving for attention, just starving for affection,
pout like a star and COME as you are,
because two losses aren't a win, and two wins aint no war,
This isn't love, but I'm falling fast,
and so I brace myself for the inevitable crash
a grinding of hips, a clashing of lips, we're starving for attention, just starving for affection,
And yeah, thats it.
Love Denii xxX
Thought For Today: If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
