Lets Get These teen Hearts Beating Faster, Faster

In response to:I Guess It's Been A While

2009-05-25T09:56:25+02:00

You are a "Go-getter" in the corner. And with your looks and sense of humour you can make it in the entertainment industry. I hope things went well with the guy from a band.

wapotter {http://wapotter.param.mobi/}

In response to:Madina Lake were awesome

2007-10-06T12:53:29+02:00

Awwww :( I hope the pain gets less soon.

They do, randomly asked once because we were wondering when we went into the film :D.
x

In response to:You Don't Need Fake Friends To Have Real Fun!

2007-09-30T22:28:15+02:00

I'm so glad you went to the gig even if it was by yourself.
I'm old enough to be your grandma but I often go places alone...otherwise I would miss out on all sorts of fun things.

In response to:Today is the greatest day I've ever known

2007-08-02T17:35:53+02:00

Hi, I don't know anything about "smashing pumpkins" and I have to admit that I didn't listen to the clip, but I like your thoughts on life, for you there is plenty of time to discover life, so give your self time.

Smiling not only feels good, it does you good, take care.

In response to:I Don't Blame You For Being You, But You Cant Blame Me For Hating It

2007-07-31T21:36:08+02:00

Hi, thanks for writing on my blog. I can't login for some reason, so am writing as a visitor.
I read above that you had or are having a birthday. I hope you enjoy yourself, even though you are having a hard time in life.

I have problems with my father. He's really mental--he's in a Buddhist cult (Buddhism is a very peaceful religion, but my dad is in a CULT) and when I was 14, I stopped talking to him. (I gather that's not an option for you)My parents have been diviorced ever since I was one, and I used to see him a lot when he still lived in Los Angeles. Now he lives in Minnesota, and rarelu called me since he moved there when I was 10. I really loved him so it was very painful to understand and realise that he didn't love me back. I was a burden; he had to deal with child support, and a little girl who really needed a dad.
We had a huge fight when I was 14, because i got fed up with him putting me down and hurting my mother emotionally adn being a tyrant and a manipulative, irresponsible person who never cared for me and tells me stuff like "it's not my fault you're my daughter" and really disrespects me and then wants me to come running up to him after he's done partying with his culty friends.
I understand that your father and siblings cannot rely on a caring mother. I'm really grateful that my mother is sane, unlike my dad, and is responsible and supports me and never put me against my dad or anything.
I suppose what I"m trying to say is that you can feel safe about writing blogs because it is a place where you can express youself honestly without fearing anything. I sometimes have fears that my dad, who works on the computer most of his days (more like sits there, not works) might try to find out about what I"ve been doing since we last spoke and might find my blog, since when one googles my name, it pops up....On the other hand, he should be ashamed of how he's behaving, and know it, have it written down for everyone to see.
You are taking care of your dad at the store and while it is painful for you, it shows your soft, tender side with your dad who depends on you, and I'm very sorry that he is ill, and I agree with another poster about you confining something in your friends off line, so that you can stay sane, because having everything bottled up is very hard. I had pneumonia, and insomnia during the time that I was dealing with my dad, and sometimes still can't sleep because the paternal side of my family is pressuring me each day about him telling me it's my fault. The doctors at UCLA dealing with insomnia suggested therapy. I was very scraed, thinking that it would mean that I wasn't normal. I never went there, eventually, because I had friends that I could talk to, and I became strong about it, and got out of it (my best friend lost her dad when she was younger) and I had books to read. Art therapy helps soothe you, so if you get really anxious, you can draw or paint, or write as you're doing now.
Sorry about this really long essay. Please know that you're not alone.
All the best,
From Julia

In response to:I Don't Blame You For Being You, But You Cant Blame Me For Hating It

2007-07-30T21:37:03+02:00

*hugs*

I don't think that you're over reacting... it sounds like you have a lot to deal with and that they are all things that you shouldn't be dealing with on your own. Just because.. because family is maybe lacking a bit doesn't mean that there is no one that cares. And your siblings they.. they do care. Sometimes telling everyone to get on with everything is a coping mechanism, when you don't talk in a way you can pretend it's not happening.. They probably aren't intentionally making you feel like this.
I think maybe you should find someone offline that you can talk to.. they'd be able to help and I think it'd be good having someone there who'll definatly be there if you see what I mean.
Sorry that was so long and muddled :S

xxx

In response to:I Don't Blame You For Being You, But You Cant Blame Me For Hating It

2007-07-30T20:20:25+02:00

Denise

Your not over reacting, your only 15 and you have a lot to cope with.If it gets to much for u,speak to someone about it (an adult)Hope you have a good Birthday and keep blogging.

In response to:You Don't Need Fake Friends To Have Real Fun!

2007-07-21T22:45:23+02:00

wow thats cool. I've never won anything like that:( I wouldn't have the confidence to go alone but it feels great when you do take the plunge. sounds really fun xxxx

In response to:You Don't Need Fake Friends To Have Real Fun!

2007-07-21T21:48:02+02:00

aww thats really B) hun & glad you had a good time seeing your fav band

;)

x

In response to:The Prom, Tearful Apologies && college

2007-05-27T19:23:17+02:00

tagged

In response to:The Prom, Tearful Apologies && college

2007-05-19T13:57:32+02:00

Not enough people paid they needed 100 but they only got 76 or something like that

It was weird leaving even though we go back for exams its not the same

In response to:The Prom, Tearful Apologies && college

2007-05-18T19:50:47+02:00

awww why'd it get cancelled?

all the people including my brother left school today aswell, it's seems wierd because.. i dunno, i spose he just doesn't seem like someone that would be leaving.. lol.

xxx

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-17T20:26:54+02:00

Hi,
just read you're blog and i think you're dad is being unfair with you. Maybe a bit more communication between you and you're dad would help. You didn't say that you have even tried to talk to him about any problems there is.

As for him telling you to lose weight, thats not for him to decide, i'm sure you are fine as you are.

Keep you're chin up and concentrate on you're exams.
Best of luck!

In response to:The Prom, Tearful Apologies && college

2007-05-17T20:14:02+02:00

Don't worry about starting anew. It's scary, but everyone feels the same. Good memories are great, but the future is exciting!

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T22:49:18+02:00

He loves coming to watch my plays at skl but tomorrow is my last day :(

Maybe Icould just hep him wash hi car or something. Its times like this I wish I had a best friend called Harry Potter lol

As for keep smiling? I always do...even (well especially) when everythingis crumbling down around me x

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T20:49:49+02:00

LOL at "long message" comment.
I didn't know he had a new wife. I can see how this may make it a little bit harder to get your dad by himself. Perhaps you'd have to do the thing I suggested, - do the things he likes just for the sake of being with him.

Well I haven't got a magic wand but If I did, I'd be waving it in your directon. I find it sad to hear of kids and their parents not getting along. When I was younger I wasn't so close to my parents. I was OK I guess, but I am sure and wish I coul have been closer. Now though we are close.

Have you spoken to your sis about this? Being 33, she'd probably be able to help you out or secretly 'mediate'.

Whatever happens... Keep smiling :)

All the best.
lw

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T20:19:11+02:00

That message is probably longer than my blog. lol but maybe you're right. My eldest sister is 33 so erm yeah hes older :D trying to think of something we both like is difficult lol but Ill try and you are right we arent that emotionally close because his new wife kinda gets in te way but I will keep on trying

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T09:52:38+02:00

One last thing related to what I alread said. You said...
" I've given all I can."

Did you give him hugs and reassurances that you love him?

Not easy to do perhaps when your angry or not east to start-off doing, if you've never done it before.

I bet in your dads mind he thinks he's tried everything to be close to you (and I'd say he's probably wrong but people often cannot see their faults) and you say you've done a lot of physical things to be close to him. Perhaps what is lacking on both sides is the emotional/love aspect?

OK. Thats all.

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T09:45:20+02:00

Oops... something strange happened. Let me try again...

I'm a parent and I think I can see some problem you may be having here.

You said...
"Why is it that all it takes is one sentance from him and its enough to have me fighting back tears"

I'd say its becasue you love him, so when you see him 'mad' at you, It hurts. If you didn't love him, you wouldn't care about what he says.

I bet your dad loves you too, but is frustrated becasue all he wants is for you to be his little girl, but he feels perhaps that he's not able to communicate or get through to you any more. Becasue of the lack of open communications and perhaps becasue he feels you are rejecting him (whether you are or not) then he hurts, and so shows you his hurt by hurting you and saying things to you.

I think these things are quite common. Some kids and partents are more successful at communicating than others. It's often becasue they are shy to show their true feelings for onw another.

Perhaps you can increase the bond between your dad and you by finding something to do which you both enjoy. And if there isn't, then do something with your dad that he enjoys, You could show you dad that you making an effort by saying something like "Actually dad, I not crazy about doing this kind of thing myself, but I just wanted to spend time with you." - I bet your dad would cry later.

You could also try giving your dad an opportunity to do something with you that you like. As your dad is older (i hope!!!) than you, then he will find it easier to sacrifice some time to be with you, expecially if you let him know that you'd appreciate him doing it so you could be together.

As you get older things should start to improve even more.

Best wishes...

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-10T09:44:20+02:00

I'm a parent and I think I can see some problem you may be having here.

You said...

In response to:One Of The Worst...

2007-05-09T09:43:42+02:00

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time medear. Families can give you such a rough ride sometimes.

Good luck with the exams.

x

In response to:I thought that I could handle it...

2007-04-28T13:09:28+02:00

hahahaa, i'll get my brother to do that next time he needs to loo..
and camisdo is the BEST Panic! At The Disco song, they're amazing

sorry, i know this from a while ago but the toilet thing made me laugh so i thought i'd comment =]

x

In response to:I'll Survive...Its the only thing I CAN do

2007-04-27T17:12:41+02:00

Dont have 2 tell me twice :)

*thinks of Mr Cute*

In response to:I'll Survive...Its the only thing I CAN do

2007-04-26T23:16:36+02:00

Heya just wanted to say try and keep strong, I know exactly how you feel about being numb against all feelings and that my words are probably useless but I hope you get through this. Smile for yourself and concentrate on the positives- like that cute guy lol.

Take care x

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T21:47:48+02:00

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T21:46:16+02:00

well at least you no how to use a computor. my dad cant lol and by the looks of things neither can I! I wrote 2 of the same comment lolz

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T21:35:14+02:00

God, I'm old. Perhaps I should think about growing up some time soon... :)

Good luck medear, hope you feel a bit better than you did earlier. x

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T21:24:16+02:00

I might be strong but I can be childish sometimes then again Im only 15 so...;)

The songs are coming fine. I have so many lyrics but no melodies cant get them to fit but theyre getting there

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T20:02:16+02:00

Understand how you feel.

You will come through this, you know. And just because things make you cry, doesn't mean you're not strong.

x

How are the songs?

In response to:I cant do this anymore...

2007-04-24T19:54:02+02:00

I get where you're coming from but there are sometimes times where I just wanna fast forward to the future and see if this is all worth it.

:P